I know it's odd for me to have a cleanish joke and apologies to CF but I thought it was a good one.



A man wanted a big, veracious dog to protect his business, so he visited a kennel that specialized in attack dogs.

The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premises.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog. He was snarling loudly and biting and clawing at the cage.

"He looks like he'd be a pretty good attack dog," said the buyer.

"Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have something better in mind for you."

They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage.

"Ah," said the buyer, "This must be the dog you were referring to earlier."

"Well, no." said the owner. "I have something better in mind for you."

The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a fairly large dog that was lying quietly on his side, licking his butt. He did not seem to notice as the men approached.

"This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.

The buyer was flabbergasted. "You're joking!" he exclaimed.

"This dog seems quite tame; he doesn't act at all like an attack dog at all. Hell, he's just lying there, licking his butt!"

"I know, I know," said the owner. "But you see, he just ate a lawyer, and he's trying to get the taste out of his mouth."

GOOD ONE :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :D :D

BWAHAAHAHAHAHAH!

That was great, Schwantz! :lol:

roflmao!!! :lol:

good one.


Axis of Evil by John Cleese

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just As Evil",
which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members,
however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having,for starters, a really dumb name.
"Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody Knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . . we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although
they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it
was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than
three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule,
it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, and within minutes, France
surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has
become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed
the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of
Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil
Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador,
and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be
Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty thoughts About America", while Scotland, New
Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a
threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush
granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Counties Whose
Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay,
Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

Did you hear about the dyslexic bluseman who wetn to the crossroads late one night?
He sold his soul to Santa.

Dyslexics untie!!

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

And the meek shall inherit the world if its ok with the rest of you

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Great lawyer joke. I think it's one of the best I've ever heard.

If I were dyslexic I might wear a T-shirt with this printed on it:

I'm dyslexic.
What's your
nekcuf excuse?

:P :razz:

Feel free to use this if it tickles your fancy, my friend. :wink:

LOL

[sigh]

Amateurs...........

Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: Why is being a lawyer the opposite of sex?
A: Because it's all bad and some of it is worse.

Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.

And, for those of you with minds truly in the gutter (that would be, I believe, all of you).....

A woman goes to her doctor and says, "Doctor, my husband has developed a penchant for anal sex. So I came to you for advice."

"Ok, let's see...does it hurt you?"

"Hmmmm .. a little."

"Do you like it?"

"Hmmm ..... well, yes."

"Then, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't do it. If you take care about not getting pregnant."

"Getting pregnant? I didn't know you could get pregnant in that way."

"Of course you can. Where do you think all lawyers come from?"

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

cf

roflmao :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


hotts