good one.
Axis of Evil by John Cleese
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya,
China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just As Evil",
which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members,
however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having,for starters, a really dumb name.
"Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il.
"Everybody Knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . . we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although
they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it
was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An axis can't have more than
three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule,
it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can
only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, and within minutes, France
surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has
become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed
the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of
Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil
Really as Just Generally Disagreeable".
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador,
and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be
Asked to Host the Olympics". Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are
Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty thoughts About America", while Scotland, New
Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a
threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush
granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Counties Whose
Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay,
Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but
privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
_________________ Fine
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