Canadian Humour?

schwantz · **Posted:** Tue Nov 12, 2002 9:20 pm

<img src="http://schwantz.50megs.com/canada.jpg" style="border:0;"/>

Mahatma · **Posted:** Tue Nov 12, 2002 9:58 pm

Anyone going to go for this?

Hans · **Joined:** Fri Sep 13, 2002 6:05 am **Posts:** 49

C'mon, troops. We must rally 'round the flag, and all that.... Where do we loyal Americans start? First, you misspelled (did I spell misspell correctly?) humour. Don't give us any of that psuedo-intellectual British culture inspired superiority crap. We fought out battle for (spelling) independence a long time ago, thank you very much. We here in America receive our culture from MTV and are proud of it! Beavis, Butthead, Osbornes (Ozzy, that is) - now that's humOR! Uh, well, on second thought, I guess 'humour' is kinda quaint when you think about it. Nevermind. Second, proper use of the subjunctive requires 'If this were' a prison, not 'If this was'. A minor point, but it's paying attention to these minor points that set this leading country apart from the wannabes. Well, ok, nobody cares anymore about the subjunctive - this just gave me a chance to show off my 7th grade English skills. But more seriously, how in the world can Canada even dare, nay, even have the hubris to THINK of throwing some smack our way? Specifically, Manitoba prohibits radar detectors. Texas (where I currently live) practically requires them. The speed limit in Canada is something like 70 km/hr. Now, when I figure out what the 'km' means, I'll be able to comment on that. The price of gasoline is way higher, and more expensive! What are you guys trying to do, save scarce natural resources? Hell, if you don't drive a Chevy Suburban that gets 11 miles/gallon, you're just not doing your part to keep the economy humming. Canada probably prohibits hand guns, too. Again, Texas almost gives them away. We can even get a concealed weapons license. What about the death penalty? Let's get tough! Here in Texas we're thinking about installing electric bleachers - why only execute one at a time? If you can't identify the superior country from all this, then we'll just have to agree to disagree. Patriotically Yours, Hans

schwantz · **Posted:** Wed Nov 13, 2002 8:02 am

Geez..such a mild response and only from our Tex-Mex Barbeque Hans. Good one Hans! I had to laugh when one of my friends young sons sent it too me. He knows that I have many Americanski friends and that I might have some fun with it. But Hans is right, Radar detectors are illegal in Manitoba. Now how the f*ck would a Texan know that? Must have lived in North Dakota. No American or Canadian in their right mind would actually visit Manitoba. I had to go to Winnipeg a couple of times a year when I worked for the airline and the place sucked no matter what time of year it was. If you went in the summer, the flies and mosquitoes were so big and nasty, they used anti-aircraft guns to shoot the bastards down! If you went in the winter, you'ld get frostbite, going outside to have a smoke. And the women all had better mustaches than I did! You bet your ass about gas! (petrol in english) I had to shovel out my wallet yesterday to fill the tank at $ .78 cents a litre!! The week before it was $ .69 a litre. The price fluctuates like my toilet seat.. Up and down. But remember, we don't have the US greenback.. The Northern Peso is our currency and today it's worth $.64 USD. Now that sucks! I often go into Blaine Washington for petrol and after being finger printed and documented I can cross the border using my Nexus pass unhindered. The speed limit in Canada varies but since our vehicles have to have a minimum of 3 catalytic stages in the exhaust system due to California law (figure that), we don't have enough horse power to speed. The freeways around here are usually 100 kph. Now if you want speed, go to Montreal where the defacto speed limit is a minimum of 60 kph over the posted limit. The first few times I was in Montreal working and do quality control on lap dancing, I was being being flipped the finger by even the cops for driving 10 kph over the speed limit! And they would do that in the other official language, FRENCH! Chevy Suburbans, now that's so true. I remember how many of them I saw in Monterey, Mexico and they all had Texas plates! Even the Mexicans drove them. I actually saw a Texas plate up here on the weekend in downtown Vancouver..Scary. Handguns.. Any handgun with a barrel less than 105 mm (4 inches) is now prohibited. Any other handgun is restricted and requires a license to acquire and to possess. I actually own 3 and can only transport in a locked case with trigger locks on the firearms to a authorized pistol range or to a gunsmith for repair. I don't have a big problem with that but the registration of long guns doesn't sit well with me. But hey, Canada has spent close to 1 billion Northern Pesos to set up and run the gun registry and only 15% of the existing guns have been registered! Now that's efficient use of tax dollars. Death Penalty? I think the last Capital Punishment was by hanging in the early 60's. I happen to think that in certain cases we should bring it back.. Serial murderers, killers of cops and for Prime Ministers that spend our money and can't speak in either official language. I just wish Bush could look beyond our current group of political sh*theads in Ottawa and actually give some credit to Canada for being a big supporter of our southern brothers and sisters. Hell when Reagan and Mulroney were president and Prime Minister we were inseperable buds. The current leaders dispise each other. Anyhow, I thought the HUMOUR would stir a strong patriotic respose from our southern buddies. All in good fun. Evil Schwantz <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/devil.gif ALT=":evil">

Mahatma · **Posted:** Wed Nov 13, 2002 9:15 am

Hey come on ... they've got Celine Dion. Good catch on the subjunctive, Hans. You get an A for that one. Wow sounds like your vehicles are really environmentally friendly up there. I wish our folks would do something like that, but then oil and petrol are the backbones of our economy (see Showdown with Iraq). Aren't hyrdo-powered cars on the horizon? All handguns should be banned, and we should go back to bow-and-arrows. I would like to see a sniper conceal THAT. All capital punishment should be conducted with bow and arrow, as well. Nationalize health care, and legalize pot! M

Riff-Raff · **Posted:** Wed Nov 13, 2002 12:58 pm

What the hell is a "hyrdo-powered" car?

Death Inc · **Joined:** Sun Sep 29, 2002 4:31 pm **Posts:** 76

Why waiste some good ENDO on your damn Car ?<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/roll.gif ALT=":rollin"> Canada??? Isnt that a town in Montana?Take off...Aye. I guess the world needs hockey players too. P.S.Dont hate us 'cause we're beautiful.<img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/laugh.gif ALT=":lol">

a nameless entity · **Posted:** Wed Nov 13, 2002 4:00 pm

I dunno, should we thank or cuss the yanks for not letting us denude our forests any more and sell them the lumber? And don't you dare nationalize your health care. We depend on the tourist $ the busloads of seniors spend up here each time they make the trek north to get their prescriptions filled! And what's all this crap about the leaky border? I'll have you know that security up here at the border is now double the US security at all remote border crossings. For every three traffic cones the US puts out at the border, we put out six!

Mahatma · **Posted:** Wed Nov 13, 2002 10:55 pm

Did u just say "denude"? <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/laugh.gif ALT=":lol"> Anyone here own an electric car? If you're in California, maybe the electricity is Canadian. Love to all our northern neighbo(U)rs, Mahatmer

Canadian Humour?

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