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| Blonde Jokes for Hottie http://vm.n6nu.org/bbs/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1807 |
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| Author: | Mortis [ Sun Dec 12, 2004 9:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Blonde Jokes for Hottie |
7 Degrees of Blonde FIRST DEGREE: A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear." SECOND DEGREE: Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" THIRD DEGREE: A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!" The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!" FOURTH DEGREE: A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W." FIFTH DEGREE: Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? A: "Is it mine?" SIXTH DEGREE: Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her U. S. government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about? Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "Thatwas the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware." SEVENTH DEGREE: Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reportedthe crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman." |
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| Author: | Mortis [ Sun Dec 12, 2004 9:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Or, if you don't like the blonde jokes, try this one: After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his manager his observation.The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying; Myfriend, you have not worked here for even one day. The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain. Manager:- How many days are there in a year? Man:- 365 days and some times 366 Manager:- how many hours make up a day? Man:- 24 hours Manager:- How long do you work in a day? Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day. Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours? Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3) Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days? Man:- 122 (1/3x366 _2 in days) Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends? Man:- No sir Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends? Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have? Man:- 18 days. Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining? Man:- 4 days Manager:- Do you work on New Year day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on July 4th? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 2 days sir! Manager:- Do you come to work on Thanksgiving? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- 1 day sir! Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day? Man:- No sir! Manager:- So how many days are left? Man:- None sir! Manager:- So, what are you claiming? Man:- I understand Sir ! thank you sir for all the money you have been giving me, I am sorry for trying to steal from the Company !!! |
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| Author: | Mahatma [ Sun Dec 12, 2004 10:25 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
lol :lol: |
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| Author: | a nameless entity [ Sun Dec 12, 2004 11:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
That sixth degree of blondness: lmao :lol: |
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| Author: | blondehottie [ Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:38 pm ] |
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LMFAO Those are great. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I have to admit my blonde Moments are fun. Hotts |
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| Author: | LePoLoo [ Sun Dec 12, 2004 5:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
:D :D :D I will translate those for my friends !!! :lol: :lol: :lol: |
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| Author: | DARKMATTER [ Sun Dec 12, 2004 6:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
LePoLoo wrote: :D :D :D
I will translate those for my friends !!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Here's the first one done for u polo PREMIER DEGRÉ : Un ménage marié était endormi quand le téléphone a sonné à 2 le matin. L'épouse (assurément blonde), prise le téléphone, écoutée un moment et dite, "How je sais, that's 200 milles de here!" ; et raccroché. Le mari dit, "Who était that?" ; L'épouse a dit, le "I don't savent, une certaine femme voulant savoir si la côte est clear." ; Dark :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Ps i cant do french but online translators are easy to find :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: |
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| Author: | LePoLoo [ Mon Dec 13, 2004 1:04 pm ] |
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DARKMATTER wrote: LePoLoo wrote: :D :D :D I will translate those for my friends !!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Here's the first one done for u polo PREMIER DEGRÉ : Un ménage marié était endormi quand le téléphone a sonné.... Dark :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: Ps i cant do french but online translators are easy to find :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: LOL, but, as usual with on kine translators, many mistakes ! :wink: |
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